Whither art thou, o master mine?

Hehehe... care for a few archaic insults?

Thou ruttish hell-hated canker-blossom!
Thou froward boil-brained pigeon-egg!
Thou meddling plume-plucked harpy!
Thou mangled ill-nurtured haggard!
Thou cockered dread-bolted imbossed carbunkle!
Thou spongey rump-fed eternal devil!
Thou wayward clay-brained dewberry!
Thou shameless fool-born puttock!


Some insults taken from Shakespeare's work..

If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.
Taken from: Hamlet

I throw thy name against the bruising stones.
Taken from: The Two Gentlemen of Verona

[Thou] hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.
Taken from: The Two Gentlemen of Verona

A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen as you are toss'd with.
Taken from: Henry IV, part I

[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.
Taken from: Henry V

[Thou art] as loathsome as a toad.
Taken from: Troilus and Cressida

You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so.
Taken from: Macbeth

Your face is as a book, where men may read strange matters.
Taken from: Macbeth

[Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax.
Taken from: Troilus and Cressida

[Thine] horrid image doth unfix my hair.
Taken from: Macbeth